Look What I found on Nevel's Website

Hey, it's me Sam. Ya know, the part of iCarly with the LONG hair and the SHORT temper. So someone sent me a link to nevelocity.com to read Nevel's "Top Eleven Awesome Things About Me" (which is ridiculous, cuz there's nothin' awesome about Nevel!). I copied and pasted his list here so that you don't have to go to nevelocity.com!
NEVEL WROTE THESE:

Top Eleven Awesome Things About Me, Nevel

1. I am currently suing every other website that ends in "ocity" for trademark infringement.

2. I charge $4,000 to appear at children's birthday parties and I DEMAND the first piece of cake and sometimes I require the child's birthday wish to be something about me.

3. My mom likes my haircut. A lot.

4. My pet porcupine, Mister Tibbals, only eats fresh tapenade and arugula and he only drinks sparkling mineral water.

5. I do all of my own landscaping. I particularly like to prune hedges. It makes me feel powerful.

6. My favorite word is kerfuffle. If you don't know what that means, then I'm smarter than you. But we already knew that anyway.

7. I have three SplashFace friends named Hugh: Hugh Jackman, Hugh Grant, and Hugh the hobo who lives on my street.

8. I love to say the word rue, as in, "You'll rue the day," but ironically I don't like rues. Gumbo is gross.

9. I have 63 white turtleneck shirts.

10. Carly of the popular web show called "iCarly" has a crush on me.

11. My earlobes are sexy.

Yeah, Nevel, Carly has a crush on you and your earlobes are sexy... wake up and smell the guacamole, Papperman